Braving the harsh Canadian winter (it's comin’, ya know), I treked to my LGS to test UWr Mortars' mettle. Here are the desperate ravings of my battles that day...
Round 1vs Virtual bye
I played against extremely new player with an illegal deck. After our games me and Andrew Oyen helped fix his deck before the next round.
Round 2 vs GW Aggro, 2-1
g1: I bury him in 2-for-1's.
g2: I got greedy and used both of my O-Rings on Loxodon Smiters and lose 10 turns later to a Pike-neutering Rest in Peace, while I proceeded to flood.
g3: Basically a repeat of the first game; 2-for-1’s, buried, etc.
Round 3 vs GB Ooze a la Kibler, 1-2
g1: My opponent leads with turn 2 Ooze, turn 3 Rancor, you know the drill. I lost that game...go figure.
g2: Stabalized at one life with removal that actually works (O-ring, Unsummon)
g3: I got knocked silly by a trio of angry Dreg Manglers. I guess you could say I was, thoroughly mangled.
Round 4 vs Mono Red, 2-0
There's not a lot to say here, my blockers produced a lot of card advantage (how fair is that?!) and I promptly crushed him.
Round 5 vs Junk Reanimator, 0-2
g1: My opponent skillfully taps 2 lands and casts Mulch revealing...
...As the game drags on I battle through Thragtusks and Spirit tokens before I'm completely dominated by an uncounterable Griselbrand. Eight mana isn't very restrictive when all of your Mulch's get 2 lands. Ah, well.
g2: I Thought Scour myself twice – each one milling a Jace, Memory Adept. I guess it's true what they say "Everyman kills what he loves." The game ends with another Caverned Griselbrand enabled by a couple of sick Mulch hits.
After struggling against Griselbrand, Predator Ooze, and Lotleth Troll, I went back to the "drawing board" to readjust my removal suite.
The drawing board:
+1 Mountain -1 Plains: MOAR MORTARS!
+1 Sphinx's Revelation: Okay, maybe I don’t hate a good revelation. Maybe I just disliked how poorly set up the UWr Flash version was at not dying, making it a poor use of the card (that or I just can't play it properly...or the meta’s weird). Now I feel much more capable of drawing the game out for the life of me during X turns.
+1 Runechanters Pike: This card is just amazing! It lets me completely dominate the board post-sweeper, lets me end the game extremely fast, pressures decks that go bigger than me, and even holds off obscenely large creatures like Wolfir Silverheart.
+2 Azorious Charm: The biggest problems my deck had came from regenerators and indestructible, slimy jerks. Azorious Charm shores up that weakness only because we can close a game out a lot easier now (with 50% moar Runechanter's Pike!).
+3 Terminus: Back in my day, Wraths actually swept the board, Supreme Verdict just drinks on the job and leaves a ton of problems for the next shift (what a dick). Terminus though punches in 9-5, Febreezes the board, all while winning employee of the year. Now I’m willing to nuke my own weenies since I get to do the same to my opponent.
+1 Oblivion Ring: I found myself boarding this in a lot. Sadly it's not Augur/Tiago food, but it's so good at answering an early Ooze, Smiter, Planeswalker, etc.
Erase: I didn't have many artifacts to target with Sundering Growth, and Rancor is a very annoying Magic card. Maybe someday I'll bring in three O-rings, an Erase and a Growth to stop a Rest in Peace or some other equally backbreaking enchantment – much like Bane’s knee into Batman’s spine.
Switcheroo: I have to see if this trumps Griselbrand. If it does, I sense some very angry Reanimator players in the near future.
Dramatic Rescue: Wanted to try it out. I'm liking it so far, but it might just be a unnecessary – and greedier – Unsummon.
After said changes we arrive at . . .
T2 – URw MOAR MORTARS! v2
4 Hallowed Fountain
4 Steam Vents
3 Glacial Fortress
4 Clifftop Retreat
4 Sulfur Falls
1 Evolving Wilds
Creatures/Win Conditions: 16
4 Augur of Bolas
4 Restoration Angel
4 Snapcaster Mage
2 Jace, Memory Adept
3 Runechanter's Pike
Snapcaster/Augur Food: 20
4 Thought Scour
2 Pillar of Flame
1 Dramatic Rescue
3 Azorius Charm
3 Mizzium Mortars
1 Searing Spear
1 Izzet Charm
2 Sphinx's Revelation
1 Psychic Spiral
1 Mystic Retrieval
1 Sundering Growth
3 Oblivion Ring
1 Mizzium Mortars
1 Unsummon (doing gods work from the sideboard)
Well, that's it for MOAR MORTARS for a bit. I'm gonna be playing a few dailies on MTGO before rotation completely changes Standard. I did win a local qualifier for a 2k Modern event, earning me 2 byes, with UWR Midrange. The deck has been on fire, winning some recent MTGO PTQ’s and GP Bilbao. I'll be writting up a report and my thoughts on the list in a few days.
Edited and Revised by Andrew Boa